exhaustion

i try, but i don't really understand how studying works. and i don't mean how learning works, i mean how the students here in mcgill go about studying. i mean, finals are starting, the libraries are cramped, it's impossible to find a seat in mclennan, and you can almost read the stress and frustration when you look at people's faces. but how does it work? do they study every waking hour taking small breaks for lunch/dinner? do they study until they can't keep their eyes open anymore? do they resort to other ways to keep themselves awake? i'm not including myself in all this because although i am one of them, sitting here in the library since 8:00am, i don't feel like i'm even close to having their level of determination, their knowledge, and their drive. and why? well, because i have given up. why? because 2 years have made me realize that no matter how many hours i put into it i will never get the results that i want, the results that i think i deserve. yes i'm a bad test-taker, yes i get nervous, and yes i believe exams are not representative of knowledge. But it is the way it's done and who am i to question it, right? no. i do question it because i am one of the many who are being submitted to this flawed (in my opinion) system. and what do i really get out of it at the end? a diploma from McGill University.