Sunday, November 8, 2009

Day17-Nov 8


Ok so exactly 10 minutes ago i smoked what i believe will be my last cigarette. I'm actually pretty nervous about this experiment. I mean, what if i can't stop smoking? What if the urge is too strong? Will i gain weight? Will i get compulsive? Maybe quitting cold turkey is not such a good idea. Maybe i should try the gum? or the patch? I don't think i know anyone who quit smoking cold turkey or at all actually, so i have no idea what i'll be in for starting tomorrrow. Oh god, i disturbing thought, will i have to stop drinking coffee? I mean coffee and cigarettes go together, how will a be able to drink a cup of coffee without wanting a cigarette? Ok i have decided i will try this experiment for a week. If i get past the week without having one cigarette, then i'll set myself the same experiment for another week and so on, and i'm thinking after 2 weeks it'll be much easier, right?

All this stress is already making me crave another cigarette. What about during exams? I once read that it's not a good idea for smokers to quit smoking before/during exams. I don't really remember the actual scientific reason why, but basically the stress and the craving interfere with studying and your state of mind as you're going through it. But these are just excuses, and my head is full of them. I just need to stop making excuses if i really want to do this. And i really want to do this. I can do this. And i will.

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